Yahooanswers.com: Are Hedgehogs Just Baby Porcupines?

"Are hedgehogs just baby porcupines? And if yes, when they shoot their quills when frightened, are the quills venomous? Because I wouldn't feel safe having a weapon pet just walking around the trailer."

- Hi, My Name Is: ANIMAL
"No hedgehogs are not baby porcupines. Porcupines are from the Erethizontidae family (I think or this may just be the new world porcupines) and hedhehogs are from the Erinaceidae family.

Porcupines are rodents, hedgehogs are not.

Hedgehogs lack the ability to shoot their quills at all. The quills are not venomous.

I have a pet hedgehog and unless he is scared or angry his quills are quite soft. Yes you can and will get stuck with them a gew times but it isn't really all that painful.

I suggest a TON of research before getting one."

- Janella
"no they are not. they are more closely related to the mole than the porcupine. porcupine quills aren't venomous. but they do carry bacteria and are barbed."

Yahooanswers.com: Do Lesbians Get Their Period?

"I think it's a valid question. I mean, if you're born gay, evolution probably took away your baby makers. Do they get their periods?"

- Michael
"Being gay doesn't effect fertility, lesbians still get periods and can still make babies. I donated sperm to lesbian couples before and gotten pregnant."

-Doug
"I wonder what the "homosexuality isn't a choice" people have to say about identical twins where one is gay and the other isn't?"

- Jessica Lori
"No of course they don't get their periods. What a stupid question."

- df
"you full on melt. sources: www.youareadrip.gotoschool"

-Emily
"DUDE? yes! what kind of questune is that??????? if your born gay, your attracted to the same sex as you, you are still able to have babies if you want to. im not sure who told you what being gay is, but they got it WRONG!"


Hello Sarah,
The question on Yahoo! Answers was reported and deleted by one or more trusted members of the Answers community.
"Do lesbians get their period?"
Ten points have also been deducted from your account. If you believe that your question was wrongly deleted by the community and would like to appeal the deletion of your question, you can have your case reviewed.
Thanks,
Yahoo! Canada Answers Team


Dear Yahoo,
No that seems pretty reasonable. Have a good night.
Sarah B

Yahooanswers.com: How Do I Get In Touch With A Celebrity Adoption Agency?

How do I get in touch with a celebrity adoption agency?

I want to get pregnant, and to give my baby the best life possible. I think the best way to do this would be to have a celebrity baby. Since I'm single, and not a celebrity, how can I get in touch with a famous adoption agency? Also I feel like my baby could be the next fashion icon, like Suri Cruise. But no Scientology.


- Planes
"Hee hee!"

- samantha
"go on google and type it celebrity adoption agency and you will find it."

- Pip
"You need a reality check. The best life a child can have have is with both or one of his or her parents. It saddens me when children who have been adopted by celebrities are constantly in the media. They may have a financially good life and no doubt they are loved but they can't really have a 100% normal life because of their parents."

- Lilah
"You're either an idiot or a troll." (I reported this asshole for hurting my feelings. And being an overall dick.)

- Scifichi...
"There is no such thing. Celebrities use a wide variety of agencies and lawyers to adopt. You need a reality check, it isn't going to happen. I can assure you that adoptive parents are highly screened and if you think adoption is best for you and your child then try to look into it more."

- Theta Works
"No idea."

-Jane
"Please, work with an agency that will help place your baby with a loving and stable family. Don't look for a celebrity."

- Marnie B
"Go to Hollywood and hang out near a bridge. Troll."

Newest Social Experiment: Yahooanswers.com

Recently I was introduced to yahooanswers.com. You can write in, and literally ask anything in the world, and people can respond. And they do respond. To anything. So my newest social experiment is going to be a new question every day.

“Hello Sarah,

The question on Yahoo! Answers was reported and deleted by one or more trusted members of the Answers community:

"By accident I ate three cat treats and I liked it. What does that mean?"

This question has been removed and 10 points have been deducted from your account. You may not have realized this, but all questions submitted on Yahoo! Answers must comply with the Answers Community Guidelines.

If you believe that your question was wrongly deleted by the community and would like to appeal the deletion of your question, you can have your case reviewed by Answers Customer Care. You have 7 days to submit your appeal. Please be aware that if your appeal is rejected, an additional 10 points will be removed from your account.

Appeal this decision:

http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/appeal?qid=20130906043707AAcq8RM

Thanks,

Yahoo! Canada Answers Team”

You bet your ass I'm going to appeal. Today my question lasted ten minutes before it was flagged and deleted, which makes no sense considering the question. These are some of the responses I was able to get access to in that short period.

"Me-ow too-ow."

Open Sauce - 8923 Total answers

"don't feel bad, i use to eat cat food on a regular basis at age 6 and 7."

Friski Jr - 699 Total answers

"It doesn't mean anything and you will be fine, but never happened to me."

Ariana - 825 Total answers

"Best watch out for the tom cats or you could get in kitten."

Verdun1916 - 22 Total answers

"what does it taste like? i thought sometimes the kitten food smells alright."

Abbey - 38 Total answers

UPDATE:

I appealed. 

Hi Sarah,

We're sorry, but upon review we found that the following question was indeed in violation of the Yahoo! Canada Answers Community Guidelines:

"By accident I ate three cat treats and I liked it. What does that mean?"

Violation Reason: Chatting / Not a Question or Answer / Incomprehensible

Go to the Yahoo! Canada Answers Appeals Board:

Please note: Your use of Yahoo! Canada Answers is subject to the Yahoo! Canada Answers Community Guidelines, Yahoo! Community Guidelines and the Yahoo! Terms of Service. Members who have violated the Community Guidelines are at risk for review and possible termination of their Answers accounts. In extreme cases, members who have also violated the Yahoo! Canada Terms of Service risk losing their Yahoo! ID and access to other Yahoo! services.

Thanks,
Yahoo! Canada Answers Team

An excerpt from the Children portion of ReTales.

      "I think I should establish that I hate children. There is the rare example where they are lovely and polite. But I work in retail, where they’re all tiny, unpredictable, filthy pink eye factories. There are few things more gross than kids being forced to eat in motion. For example, having French fries or ice cream shoved into their greedy traps while walking through a pet store. 

 

However, kids having tantrums is the best; kudos to the parents who just leave their kids screaming on the dirty mall floor, and walk away. Nailed it.

 

I think people have this glamorized, idealistic view of a pet store. All the staff does all day is cuddle animals. These animals don’t ever poop or need to be fed, and apparently there is no customer service factor either.

Thomas was a treat. He was a little Asian boy who would come into the store every day and stare at me at cash. He stared at everyone, but I happened to be at cash the most, so I’d have these awkward encounters with Thomas every shift. I’m terrible with kids. One day I introduced myself to a toddler and went to shake their hand. I talk to them like they’re all 30. I can’t help it.

I asked Thomas one day what his name was. He said, “Thomas.” He was about five. I guess I didn’t take into account the language barrier that apparently still remained. Because when I followed that question with, “Now where are your parents?”, he thought I meant, “Please pull your pants down to your ankles and create a scene.” 

 For some reason, parents find it acceptable to send their kids in all day long to be babysat by the staff. It makes no sense. One day, this particularly obnoxious kid was getting handsy with the rawhide. When I asked it where its legal guardian was, it told me not worry, and then showed me a whistle. “My mom gave me this in case I get lost.” Oh, cool. So when your abductor takes your whistle, then what Mom?! Then what. Don’t  worry, I’ll handle it. Just enjoy your Tim Horton’s coffee; I got you. Afterwards, feel free to let your hair down and take a browse in Northern Reflections. Afterall, your spawn has a fucking whistle. Also, kids don’t blow whistles when there’s trouble. If they have a whistle, it doesn’t leave their mouth."

 

Inapark Does Fan Expo, 2013. Ohh Myyy...

Oh hey George Takei, it's nice to meet you too. What's that, you'd love a copy of The Best of Inapark... no big deal.

A Piece for Re-Tales: The Subway Old Ladies.

     Not everything absurd happens inside the pet store. Every shift comes with a break, and every break seems to be a lesson from Santa. If you’ve been good, you are given a delicious snack and peace of mind. If you are bad, you receive proverbial coal; or in my case, the Old Subway Sandwich Ladies.

On one particularly trying day where I had apparently been bad, I ventured to Subway for a delicious sammy. As I was about to enter the store, I noticed an old lady with a walker, slowly making her way up the ramp. Obviously, I couldn’t ignore her; we had already made eye contact. So, I patiently held the door for her. She walked unhurried, but with intention. I instantly regretted assisting this woman.

I will name her Margaret. Margaret yelled her coffee order from the door. When she found out that they in fact did not offer coffee, she was livid and relentless. She “couldn’t understand why they didn’t have coffee, and all she wanted was a coffee. Was that too much to ask?! In the morning, a coffee? What kind of business was this?”

Eventually, with my break time ticking away, she abandoned the notion of coffee. Instead, she asked for “the 475”. It took five minutes for myself and the Sandwich Artist to realize she meant the sub that cost $4.75. We only realized this when she screamed, “Then why does it say that?!”, pointing wildly to the illuminated pricing board.

When this outrageous encounter eventually ended, I got my cold cut combo and left. Santa was not done with me. Like a skeletal, naggy boomerang, she somehow made her way into my store. This is how the conversation went.

“Oh, hi there, how was your sub?”

“My son!?”

“Your submarine sandwich.”

“How do you know Matthew?!”

“Your lunch.”

“What?!”

I hated Margaret. Shockingly, she had a cell phone. I know this not because I saw her answer it, but because I heard the 1998 ringtone, an answer, silence, and then this response.

“You think YOU’RE stressed out?? Have you ever been in a van.. with a bee in it?? I have, 20 years ago! Still gives me anxiety!”

I then heard about the buzzing, and the swatting. Margaret is definitely a good storyteller. I felt like I was in the car with her. I also felt like I wanted to open the door of that hell bound vehicle, and roll out onto the highway to avoid spending one more second with her. One lingering question remains though; why the hell would Margaret be the one you would call when you were upset?! I felt terrible for the person on the other end.

After boycotting Subway for a good month, I decided that I was being silly, so I went back. Meet Beryl.

This time, I walked into the situation. She was leaning against the, “Debit Not Working” sign, before she had ordered anything, incessantly jamming her card in the slot.

Beryl was screaming about green olives. Asking if they had them, telling everyone within a reasonable hearing radius that they were her favorite. They ended up having a stash, under the counter. The kind gentleman behind the sneeze guard produced them, and instead of a thank you, was greeted with a, “Well that’s good to know! I didn’t see them! How are people supposed to know they’re there?! I think your debit machine’s broken.”

She then asked for a combo. No, not a diet coke and a chips or cookie combo. She decided to make up her own. Like if you clamored loud enough, it would just come into existence.

“Gimme a tin of apple juice, and a granola bar.”

I physically couldn’t handle how ridiculous this was. When she was informed that they don’t carry any of that, “Ah well, I have enough granola bars at home. Diabetes.”

What does that mean? Like, “I like sunshine. Diabetes.” Old people love talking about their health problems. The only thing they like talking about more than their health, is how to make things more practical in stores. Diabetes.