Monday, April 30, 2012

My letter to Coors Light

Dear Coors Light Brewing Company,

My name is Sarah Bertrand, and I am a 28 year old beer enthusiast who enjoys dry socks, meer cats, and your brand of beer. I have been enjoying Coors Light since I was of legal age of consumption, and my brother and I have even been to your Mystery Mansion. It was no "mystery" Coors Light... it was a blast!

Although I'm merely a fan of your company, I believe that I possess some innovative ideas that you'll undoubtedly find useful, and hopefully even inspiring. Recently, cigarette smoking companies have developed an extremely aggressive approach with their ads. The new ads are visually shocking. This is of course being done as a more "in your face" method of communicating the dangers of smoking, and the devastation that can occur with prolonged use. In this day and age, it's obvious that people respond much more to visuals than anything else. As a longtime beer enthusiast, I've decided to offer you some suggestions for any upcoming campaigns you may be planning, so you can maintain a concern for awareness just as much as the next guy. Obviously this is in no way to imply there are negative stigmas of your brand. This is merely a precaution to remind people to consume your delicious beverage in a reasonable manner.

Here are just a few examples you can feel free to use: A picture of a person vomiting into a plant in a club. Although this is an extremely specific situation, I think you'd be shocked at how often it occurs. Someone standing outside a bar with no jacket on after being kicked out. How often have we slipped past this person, pretending to be checking an important text so we didn't have to make eye contact? A girl crying because she lost her purse; meanwhile, the purse is safely attached to her wrist. This is something I believe we have all witnessed, or maybe even have experienced ourselves. Two girls instinctively kissing, while their friends are waiting, furious and embarrassed. Someone huddled in a bathroom after making a drunk phone call to an ex, weeping incoherently. A sorority jock waking up next to a beast. And, last but certainly not least, two best friends fist fighting.

I thank you for your time, and I hope that you enjoy my forward thinking, bold marketing ideas.

Sincerely, Sarah Bertrand

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