Thursday, December 4, 2014

Baumgartner.


Dec 3, 2014
Re: Urgent reply needed


Dear Baumgartner,

I am Barrister Warren Jackson Esq. practicing in the Province of Cotonou in Republic of Benin. I am the family lawyer to late Mr. Bernard Baumgartner who is from your country. My late client might possibly be your relative due to coincidence of same family name.

My late client died suddenly with his entire family on 30th December, 2008 in a ghastly road accident while returning from a night concert. Unfortunately, my late client does not have any stated next of kin who can lay claim to the fund/legacy he left behind. Hence, I contacted you to claim the legacy of my late client valued at the sum of US$7.110, 000.00 million deposited in a bank here since you share the same last name with my late client.

Note, this claim will be carried out legally without any breach of the law. I shall give you more information regarding this inheritance and how to proceed when i receive your positive reply.

 Yours sincerely,

 Warren Jackson

 +22968618268

 ***

Dec 3, 2014
Re: Urgent Reply Given

Dear Warren Jackson,

It is I, Baumgartner. Thank you so much for your email. Since my last name is definitely Baumgartner, and your client's last name is the same, there is no doubt in my mind that we are closely related.

The story of The Baumgartner's demise is tragic. What night concert were they returning from? I am very anxious to collect the family fortune from my fellow Baumgartners, and live out the rest of my days as though I reside on the set of a soap opera. Please let me know whatever you need from me, such as any credit cards, social insurance number, or just basic info on when I'm not going to be home and where my spare key is kept.

                I look forward to hearing from you soon.
 Sincerely,
 Baumgartner.

 ***

Dec 3, 2014
Re: See attached file

I need your word that you will keep this transaction confidential and you will not betray me.
Best wishes
Sincerely
 Marvin Udeh
 +22968618268

 ***

Dec 4, 2014
Re: Not opening attached file. Boss will get mad when computer blows up.

Hello Warren, or is it Marvin?
So many pieces to this puzzle! Thank you for sending me the confidential transaction document. Unfortunately I am wary of opening it on my work computer, because I fear it is definitely a virus. Is there any way you can please copy and paste it into the body of an email for me?
I hope you are having a nice morning. I, however Warren/Marvin, am not. Once my brother found out about the death of the other Baumgartners, and the fortune I was randomly receiving six years later, he was livid. He flew into a fit of rage, and demanded retribution. How are we going to settle this in a civil manner? His name is Paul Baumgartner, and he wants a hand written apology as well as a hefty cheque. Can we split the money? Do you need all of his information too? Can you send me a fake email saying I no longer receive the fortune, so I can show it to him, but then you still give it to me secretly? Please advise. Thank you for your time, Warren/Marvin.
Sincerely,
Baumgartner
***

Dec 5, 2014
Re:

Dear Sarah Baumgartner.
Greetings to you and your family. Marvin is my chamber name; my real name is Warren Jackson.
                I write you this message in plenty of good faith with respect to one Late Mr. Bernard Baumgartner, who was my client here in Benin, before his untimely death in 2008 after a brief illness.
In strict confidence i have send you this message and i know that this message will reach you as a surprise because we have not seen or spoke to each other before. Permit me to introduce myself to you, my name is Barrister Warren Jackson, I am a lawyer, I live and practice in the Republic of Cotonou du Benin.
Sorry to disturb you with this transaction my good friend because if something is not done fast about it something must surely go wrong with this proposal of mine. This is a transaction we can succeed with one spirit and understanding.
My Deceased client bank contacted me some couple of weeks ago to make provision for the rightful Next of Kin to my deceased client for the claim of the Deposited Sum + Accumulated Interest which amounts $ 7,110,000 .00 or that the money will be confiscated by the Government after one month if the fund is not claimed.
If i must inform you, i am the personal legal attorney and prosecutor to my deceased client and have access and well known to the financial institution in question, I was the closest person to him while he was alive and i have worked with him in all his business projects in my professional capacity. I contact you for us to work as partners to ensure that this fund is claimed and transferred to a foreign account before the bank confiscate this Money.
Moreover, the reason why i seek for your assistance and partnership is because you have the same name with my deceased client and if i present you to the Financial institution there will be no doubt about your status as the relative . The fact that i am his lawyer and that you have the same name with him allows us to claim this huge amount (7,110,000.00) deposited here in my country.
My proposal for you is that we work together with one sincere spirit toward this transaction the two of us will share the amount with accrued interest, in an agreed ratio when the money is transferred to you as the rightful beneficiary or next of kin to my deceased client and we need each other to make this happen. I have all necessary legal documents that will back up your claim. The financial institution has instructed me to find the relative otherwise the accounts stand the chances of facing risk of frozen and money confiscated and turns into governmental bills.
Therefore, I sincerely request your honest / very sincere cooperation in this respect. I guarantee that this will be done in accordance with the legal agreement, which does not entail any violation of law.
My Guarantee for you in this transaction is that you will not be in any form of danger or risk of any violation of International / local law, and therefore we will have no problems now or in the future as a result of this transaction. I would be ready for us to discuss terms of participation upon your acceptance in our partnership for this transaction which i will be in conformity by receiving the below information from you.
Full Names:
Complete Home Address:
Mobile Number:
Age:
Type of Work (Occupation):
I wait for your response so that we can decide on our proceeding for this transaction in one good spirit. Your acceptance to this proposal offered by my good self.
Sincerely,
Barr. Warren Jackson
Warren Jackson Associate
Cotonou du Benin.
***

Dec 5, 2014
Re: Too good to be true!

Dear Warren Jackson,
Do you prefer if I call you by your chamber name, or your legal name? I prefer, Mister Sarah Baumgartner, if you don't mind. Thank you for your speedy reply. You seem like a definitely honest, reliable Barrister.
My family greets you back. I have to be honest with you though. If you scroll back through our interactions, it seems as though the plot has thickened. Initially the Baumgartners had passed away in 2008, coming from a night concert. And now it seems as though it has been less than a month ago. This gives me pause for concern, especially since everything else seems incredibly reasonable and true. I'm more than willing to give you all of the information you have requested, but again, another twist. Initially the money was to be bequeathed to just I, Baumgartner. And now it seems as though you would like to share it. Please give me a detailed account of the Baumgartners last week on Earth, before they ventured to Hell. And let me know exactly what's going to happen with my treasure.
- Baumgartner
***

Dec 5, 2014
Re:

Dear Sarah Baumgartner,
Thanks for your reply.
I prefer my legal name, refer to my attached file my passport and license also bank clam letter. I read and understand your message, I will advise you to complete the claim letter and sign it send it back to me to study and scan copy of your passport.

 
As soon as I receive it I will direct you how to contact the bank. I wait for your urgent reply. God bless you and your family.
Sincerely
Your brother
Warren Jackson
***
 
Dec 6, 2014
Re: You can’t argue with online credentials.

Dear Brother Jackson,
Thank you so much for your prompt reply. Also, thank you for sending me your credentials. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I was once skeptical of you, Warren Jackson. But after seeing your license and passport, I can tell now that you are worthy of my trust. They definitely don't look photoshopped, and you have a kind face. Like OJ Simpson.
             I do however regret to inform you that your Bank Claim letter would not open on my computer Warren. Maybe the bank can send it to me directly? Now that we are getting to know each other Warren, I don't feel as indignant about sharing my wealth with you. I do however want to get to know you on a more personal level. I want to know the real Warren Jackson. Where did you grow up? Do you have any pets? How did you get to know my extended family? Why have you answered none of my questions? How is your day going? Are you excited for Christmas? What is a barrister? What concert were the Baumgartners returning from? And so forth.
              Since I can now put a face to the name for you, I would like to present to you, the vision of I, Sarah Baumgartner.
 
           Take it all in, brother.
I look forward to hearing from you, as well as the bank. Please include a few candid pictures from a previous vacation, or a day spent thoughtfully taking snapshots, strolling through a local park.
Thank you Warren.
Baumgartner.
***

Dec 7, 2014
Re:

Dear Baumgartner.
Thanks for your questions.
1: I grow up in Cotonou Du Benin which I have sent you my credentials.
2: I don’t like pet
3: I am personal Attorney to late Bernard Baumgartner which the bank knows me as his personal Attorney.
4: the concert his returning from is Oil Business meeting with his family.
Furthermore, let me clarify you on the origin of the deposited sum so that you will sure about the legibility of this transaction before our proceedings.
My deceased client used to be an Oil Business Tycoon, he is a dealer in Bonny light, crude oil and also a major oil dealer within the West African coast, and He’s also a major share holder in major companies. Before his death just like he knew or saw death coming around the corner , he summoned that all his wealth be converted into cash instrument and deposited in one of the major banks here in Benin and that was where the ($7,110,000.00 ) accumulated from.
Personally, Inside of me I feel so much joy because for you to respond to my proposal is a divine breakthrough for us, I am force to let you know that my motive to claim this fund with you is because of personal problems but I would not fail to let you know if that will make you understand how serious I take this transaction and if that will make you learn to trust me. My only Wife has a breast cancer and she needs an urgent breast operation. Our medical doctor referred us to Saudi Arabia but I cannot afford the expenses for now to treat my wife, In this transaction is my only hope to save the life of my only wife, and I think this is the only price I have to pay to my wife to make her understand how much I love and care for her. 
I will pest the claim letter to you and you will fill and sign it sends it back to me to study. As soon as I receive the claim letter, I will direct you how to contact the bank on Monday. Thanks for your attached picture amazing and gorgeous. I wait to hear from you.
God bless you as you keep praying for my wife.
Sincerely, Your brother
Warren Jackson
***

Dec 8, 2014
Re:

Dear Baumgartner
Good day, I was coming back from the bank this morning to inform them relative of my late client has arrived to claim his relative fund. They are very happy to hear that, I will be waiting to receive the claim letter to enable me study it and direct you how to contact the bank.
God bless you as you keep praying for my wife.
Sincerely
Your brother
Warren Jackson
***

Dec 9, 2014
Re: No computer on the weekend. I missed you.
 
Dear Warren,
Hello my friend. I missed you this weekend. I do not have access to a computer when I am not at work. How was your weekend? I am sorry to hear about your wife.
I am saddened to bring you some news though. I think it is time for our correspondence to come to an end. I have had a lot of fun making such a new and honest friend, but your emails have just become too confusing for me to follow. That, in addition with you not being an animal person has just broken me to the core. I love animals. If I was an animal, I would be a Meer Cat. Because they are adorable, and alert. I possess neither of these qualities, but they are my favorite attraction at the zoo. That being said, I just can't trust someone who doesn't enjoy the warm embrace of a kitten, or the soft kisses of a puppy. Or the gentle pecking of a bird. Or the playful splashing of a fish. Or the animated hopping of a bunny. Et cetera et cetera.
I'd like to thank you for the week filled with hope, magic, love, and most important, honesty. That's what I like about you, Warren Jackson. Your ability to confidently contact a complete stranger and offer/ask them for an obscene fortune. Good on ya.
I will carry these memories in my heart for always. There is an American movie about an attractive lady, starring Julia Roberts. I will quote a line from it, to portray my current frustrated demeanor.
Big mistake Warren. HUGE.
My Christmas wish is that you have a long and fruitful career as a barrister, and that you live an authentic life where you don't try and swindle money from good, honest people. As Oprah Winfrey would say, I hope this is your AHA moment, Warren. And that you become a better detective, because my last name isn't even Baumgartner. There is a lesson in this, Brother. I want you to always remember how being tricked feels. Not very good. So whenever the wind blows, and whenever you hear a child laughing, I want you to picture this face:
 
And I want you to remember our brief platonic romance, and that living a sneaky life is unkind and will land you in Hell, along with the other Baumgartners.
Sleep well, sweet Prince.
Sarah Bertrand.
***

Dec 9, 2014
Re:

I understand your message, but I want to assured you this transaction is 100%legal. If you are not ready to work with me let me know. I am a man that has personality I will not kill my carrier or put myself into what I don’t know. Once again thanks for your care about my wife.
God bless you
Sincerely
Your brother
Warren Jackson
***

Dec 10, 2014
Re: big pet

Dear Sarah
I did not sleep very well since I read your last message, I have think about it I want to buy a big pet I have reason it is good to have a pet. Thanks for your concern
Have a beautiful day hug
God bless you as you keep praying for my wife
Sincerely
Your brother
Warren Jackson
***

Dec 10, 2014
Re: Lions and Tigers and Bears, wait what?!
 
Dear Warren,
Hi! What a lovely email. I hope that last night your busy mind finally found slumber.
That is adorable that you now want a pet. And a big one at that! Can I ask what kind? Is it a lion, or a tiger, or a bear? How does your wife feel about animals? Maybe as a get well present you can get her something feminine, like a Slow Loris or a Marmoset?
I'm going to be honest with you, Brother. I have told you that I am not, in fact, a Baumgartner. I am just a regular, run of the mill homosexual. But now, as I sit here and reflect, maybe I AM Baumgartner. Maybe we are all Baumgartner. Just a bunch of Baumgartners, waiting for that one magical confusing email to help us out of our rut. To inspire us, to reactivate our imaginations, and to provoke countless more page views on our blog.
Thank you, my dear friend, for this valuable lesson. Baumgartner is not one person, or one family that tragically kicked it after an oil concert. Baumgartner is in your heart. In your soul. Baumgartner is your new zebra, or emu. Baumgartner is the sun, the moon, and the stars. Baumgartner is a dream. A goal. Baumgartner is me. Baumgartner is you.
I wish the best to you and your family, Warren Jackson. Think of me when you see a pretty sunset, or when you're Barristing, or when your new giant animal calls you Daddy for the first time. Think of me. I will think of you. Be safe, little lamb.
Baumgartner.
***

Dec 10, 2014
Re:

Dear Sarah
Thanks for your sweet message. I want to buy a dog my wife like dogs, which I will get today evening. My late client is only one person. And I want to know if you are not ready to complete this transaction with me?
Thanks for your concern about my family also God bless you as you keep praying for my wife.
Sincerely
Your brother
Warren Jackson
***

Dec 11, 2014
Re: The responsibility of an animal is the best medicine.
 
Hey Peanut,
How is your wife? I think getting her a puppy while she's deathly ill is the perfect pick me up. Just insist that she's the one to walk and feed him. She is the woman, afterall. Amiright? Women be shoppin'. Trust me on this; she'll really appreciate it.
Again,  with the transaction.  Still confusing. Am I giving you money? Are you giving me money? Are we splitting money? I told you previously that I am not the person you thought you legally had to give money to. So aren't you trying to find that person? What's happening,  Brother.
 
Once upon a time a few mistakes ago
I was in your sights, you got me alone
You found me, you found me, you found me
I guess you didn't care, and I guess I liked that
And when I fell hard you took a step back
Without me, without me, without me
And he's long gone when he's next to me
And I realize the blame is on me 
 
'Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places I'd never been
'Til you put me down, oh
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places I'd never been
Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble

You know? Anyway, I think it's time we both took a step back Warren.  

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes the sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

 (Elphaba)
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

(Glinda)
Because I knew you

(Both)
I have been changed for good

 (Elphaba)
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for

(Glinda)
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

 (Both)
And none of it seems to matter anymore

 (Glinda)
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes the sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

 (Elphaba)
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird
in the wood (Harmony over Glinda)

 (Both)
Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

(Glinda)
And because I knew you...

(Elphaba)
Because I knew you...

(Both)
Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good...

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Baumgartner.
***

To: sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com

Dec 12, 2014
Re:

Dear Sarah
Thanks for your sweet world, complete the claim letter and sign it send it back to me to study , I will direct you how to contact the bank. God bless you as you keep praying for my wife.
Sincerely
Your brother
Warren Jackson
***

To: warrenjackson81@yahoo.com
From: sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com
Dec 13, 2014
Re: Careless Whisper

Brother,

I feel so unsure,
As I take your hand
And lead you to the dance floor.
As the music dies,
Something in your eyes
Calls to mind a silver screen
And all its sad goodbyes.

I'm never gonna dance again,
Guilty feet have got no rhythm;
Though it's easy to pretend,
I know you're not a fool.
I should have known better than to cheat a friend,
And waste a chance that I've been given;
So I'm never gonna dance again,
The way I danced with you.

Time can never mend,
The careless whisper of a good friend;
To the heart and mind,
Ignorance is kind;
There's no comfort in the truth,
Pain is all you'll find.

Tonight the music seems so loud,
I wish that we could lose this crowd.
Maybe it's better this way,
We'd hurt each other with the things we want to say.
We could have been so good together,
We could have lived this dance forever;
But now who's gonna dance with me?

Please stay!
Saxophone medley

Now that you've gone,
Now that you've gone;
Now that you've gone,
Was what I did so wrong?
So wrong that you had to leave me alone?

Baumgartner.
***

To: sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com
From: warrenjackson81@yahoo.com
Dec 13, 2014
Re:

Dear Sarah
I assure me if you are ready to complete the transaction with me? God bless you, take a kiss from me hug.
Sincerely
Your brother
Warren Jackson
***
To: warrenjackson81@yahoo.com
From: sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com
Dec 14, 2014
Re: Hold On, Brother.

Okay let's do this. Here's my passport.


I know this pain
Why do lock yourself up in these chains?
No one can change your life except for you
Don't ever let anyone step all over you
Just open your heart and your mind
Is it really fair to feel this way inside?

Some day somebody's gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don't you know?
Don't you know things can change
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day

Things'll go your way
Hold on for one more day

You could sustain
Or are you comfortable with the pain?
You've got no one to blame for your unhappiness
You got yourself into your own mess
Lettin' your worries pass you by
Don't you think it's worth your time
To change your mind?

I know that there is pain
But you hold on for one more day and
Break free the chains
Yeah I know that there is pain
But you hold on for one more day and you
Break free, break from the chains

Some day somebody's gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don't you know?
Don't you know things can change
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day yeah
If you hold on

Don't you know things can change
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day,
If you hold on
Can you hold on
Hold on baby

Won't you tell me now
Hold on for one more day 'Cause
It's gonna go your way

Don't you know things can change?
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can't you change it this time

Make up your mind
Hold on
Hold on
Baby hold on 
***
To: warrenjackson81@yahoo.com
From: sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com
Dec 15, 2014
Re: Okay so you’re not a Wilson Phillip’s fan…

My dear, sweet  Brother,
             I have had a change of heart. I simply cannot bring myself to do this transaction. I would be taking the money away from the real Baumgartner. You need to find her. Maybe she's a single mother somewhere, struggling to make ends meet, and just waiting for a miracle. Maybe she's a writer that used to work at a pet store, and now works at a warehouse, and writes to a spammer she doesn't even know every single day, several times a day, just pass the time until her real life starts. Maybe she's even the President of the United States. Could you imagine that? Whoever she is, she needs to meet you. You truly are a gem. You, your dear wife, and your huge huge new animal. Go to her. Go barrist the crap out of her, and show her that angels exist, Warren Jackson. You are a soldier of God. Do his work.

WHY ARE GOODBYES SO HARD WARREN. I am currently crying. Are you? I feel sick. Is it the six mini bags of Sun Chips I just ate Warren? Or is it heartbreak?
Goodbye Pickle. Take a kiss from me hug, back.
Baumgartner 
 
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again
I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And havin' so much to say
(Much to say)
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do,

Oh yeah 
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say (Much to say)
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do
Not seein' that lovin' you
That's what I was trying to do.
***

Dec 15, 2014
Re:

Good bye too.
***

Dec 31, 2014
Re: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
 
Hello old friend.
I just wanted to wish you and your wife a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I hope you're both well. Listen, I do have a request. I'm going to a party tonight, and it has been requested I write and recite a poem at said party. Now you know me; I don't like to disappoint. But I just haven't been feeling very inspired lately. Is there any way you can write me a New Years themed poem my Brother?
Warmest Regards,
Baumgartner.
***

January 5, 2015
Re:

Dear Baumgartner
I am sorry for not responding to your message, Happy New Year and I wish you long life and prosperity. I was sick and I resume work today I did not see your message. I hope you finally wrote the poem?
Once again I am sorry, my wife sends her warm greetings to you and your family though she’s very ill and need help for urgent operation. Once again thanks for your concern about my wife.
God bless you.
Sincerely
Your brother
Warren Jackson
***

January 19, 2015
Re: I’ve missed you!

Hi Brother!
Thank you so much for your email. I did not get around to that poem, but I appreciate your sincere care.
How are you feeling? How is your wife doing? I miss our daily chats. You spammed your way right into my heart Warren. I tried talking to other Spammers, but you are by far my favorite, and now I'm emotionally invested. At first I was extremely skeptical and adverse to whatever you were sellin'.Understandably so, I think. But now, like an obscure version of Stockholm Syndrome, I miss you. I hope you're doing well. I hope to talk to you soon as well. Have a great Monday, dear friend.
All my love,
Your Brother Baumgartner.
***

January 20, 2015
Re:

Dear Sarah
Thanks for your concern, I saw your message I am very happy, I’m not in the mood to reply you. I am having emotional breakdown since this year. How are you doing, hope you are fine. I really miss you. I wait to hear from you soon.
Hug and Love
Sincerely
Your brother
Warren Jackson
***

January 20, 2015
Re: The Notebook

What's wrong, Brother? If you're a bird, I'm a bird.
-B
***
 
January 21, 2015
Re:

Dear Sarah
Thanks for your fast reply. After my struggling to see my wife regain back her life, she betrayed me and also left me and travel with another man to South Africa to finish her Masters. I don’t know she has a plain all this years.
I am crying like a baby all this while, I can’t even went to the office again I stop all my communications with my clients and friends apart from you.
You are the only person I can chat with, I really need your help by communicate with me regular to keep me strong to regain back myself.
I want to be communicating with you regular if you don’t mind give me your direct phone number to enable me to keep in touch. I really have emotional breakdown.
I wait for your reply
Hug and Love
Sincerely
Your brother
Warren Jackson
***
 
January 21, 2015
Re: Heartstrings. Tugged.
 
Jesus Brother that is some heavy shit. I am so sorry to hear that. I cannot give you my phone number, but I can continue contact like this with you to get you through your time of need. You need to eat, and take it easy. You will be okay, but right now it's terribly hard. After everything you did for your wife, you don't need someone like that. You need support and love. Take your time to mourn the loss, and then let her go. You are worth more than settling, my friend. Keep in touch. Be good to yourself.
-B
***

January 21, 2015
Re:

Thanks for your strong word and courage is hard for me to forget so easy my dear, but I will try and keep going. She betrays me and let me down is only God can judge her. Right now I can’t even close my eyes and I am thinking too much. Please pray for me I feel like to die. I am sorry if I ask you your phone number, just that I need someone like you to talk to once again thank you for your courage. I love you Sarah, feel free to call me anytime +229 68618268
Hug and Love take a kiss from the rose. Good night and God bless you. Sweet dreams Sarah
Sincerely
Your brother
Warren Jackson
***

January 22, 2015
Re: Game plan.
 
Good morning Seal.
             This is what you did. Say a prayer to God to smite her and her trashy new flavor, and if he doesn't answer it immediately, we make a plan. A plan to make her regret she ever walked out on both of us. We will get you a tailored suit, and go to a super expensive swanky store and scream at the salespeople for literally no reason. Then, we will send her pictures. I will wear a ridiculous ball gown and I will look like a linebacker because I am a lesbian. And we'll look super cozy together, and she will call you instantly and you'll answer the phone, NOT EVEN SAYING HELLO, and simply utter, Big Mistake. Huge.
 
I like to reference Pretty Woman as much as I possibly can. Eat your feelings, hell drink 'em too, but don't take shit from her. Remind her that you saved her life, and that she's an ungrateful dickbag and owes you more than that.
What do you like to do for comfort, dear friend? I watch The Office, and cuddle my cats. DID YOU EVER GET THAT MASSIVE PET YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT??              
Please let me know you are doing okay. My mom said not to have contact with strangers because I will end up at the bottom of a lake, but I know better.
Be kind to yourself, Peanut.
-B
***

From: Madam.pamela  
To: sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com
 January 22, 2015
 
Hello my Dear,
            How are you and your family? Hope Fine. I am Madam Pamela Raymond, from united states of America.And I am suffering from Acute kidney injuries called acute-on-chronic renal failure (AoCRF).

l made a fasting and prayers before God directed me to you. I  married to Late Engineer Jerry Raymond a French speaking colony Lome Togo who was Engineer with the Shell company in Lome Togo, before he died after few years now. I have been in the hospital over one year now because of  family witch craft attack for the acts of jealousy of my late husband's wealth.
When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $4.500 Million in the bank here in Lome-Togo which i will like you to contact bank and ask for it to be transfered into your bank account so that you can use it for the orphanage children and poor once in the society, This is because my Doctor told me that it is very likely i will die within the next 6 months due to acute-on-chronic renal failure (AoCRF).
I have decided to donate the money for charity since I do not have a child to inherit the wealth and it is not good for me to die leaving the money here without it reaching the poor and the less privileged ones in the society, since  I do not want my husband family to inherit it due to their wicked  character to my family, meanwhile  i am still in the hospital where i was admitted.
Noa Teaching International hospital
Address:B.P.. 2037 Rue des Cocotiers
Carra Layout,Lome-Togo
Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I  Stated here in regards useing this money for the less privileged once in the society.
Hoping to receive your response immediately. Thanks and Remain blessed.
Madam.Pamela Raymond
***

To: Madam.pamela
 Jan 22 at 1:40 PM 
 
Sorry Madam Panda, no time. I have two other Spammers on the go, and I'm pitching a television show on Feb 1. But the witch craft angle is awesome, I want to revisit this when I can put all my energy into it. Can you spam me in like two weeks?
I have been in the hospital over one year now because of  family witch craft attack for the acts of jealousy of my late husband's wealth.
I just reread this. Good God. I can't. Please specifically explain exactly what you mean. Thanks doll.
Baumgartner.
***

January 22, 2015
Re:

Dear Sarah
Yes, I did later buy the dog for her though she did not like it, I don’t know she has evil mind.
1: Do you believe in love?
2: Do you have a husband?
3: Why did you choose to be a lesbian?
4: Do you think I will hurt you?
I will be happier if you answer me, Sarah I am happy you are there for me chatting with me all night.
I am not a stranger, my name is Warren Jackson.
I want for your reply
Warren Jackson
***

January 23, 2015
Re: Ohhh Warren. You did not use the “C” word.
 
Whoa whoa whoa dear Brother. This is a whole lot at once. I will respond in order of your email. I am sorry your evil wife did not like your dog. I bet it was sweet and found a good home.
I do believe in love.
I do not have a husband. I prefer the company of women,  the way God made me.
I did not choose to be a lesbian. I was born that way and I'm happy with who I am.
I do not think you will hurt me. I do not know how this would be possible.
Now my turn.
Do you believe in love? Do you have a husband? Do you have any issues with gay people? Are you a good person?
Still, be kind to you.
-B
***

January 23, 2015
Re:

Dear Sarah
Many thanks for your answer. How are you doing, hope you are okay?
1: I believe in love
2: i am not a gay
3: Nope never for one day
4: I am a good person that has personality
I went to the hospital for check up, sorry for my late response. Now am at my house resting.
Sarah you need company of a man not woman and again God don’t made you a lesbian.
I feel like looking into your eyes and tell you how I feel right now.
Do you have Skype?
I wait for your reply.
Kiss from me to you.
***

To: warrenjackson81@yahoo.com
From: sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com
January 23, 2015
Re: Inhale.

Warren. As I sit at the bus stop I am inclined to write to you in a serious manner. I was very disturbed by our communication this morning.  And as you have, I will be very honest with you about my feelings.
People are born gay Warren. They just are, that's not up for debate. Your attitude surrounding gays is the perfect example of why people are born gay. Who would ever, in their right mind, choose a lifestyle that everyone thought was wrong, and just settled upon for lack of choice?  Because you are born gay Warren. I was born gay. Whatever religion you subscribe to, that God made me gay. And she thinks I'm fabulous..
I am a good person, I work hard, I treat my family and friends with love and respect. I have been judged my whole life for the way I look. But I own that, because the way I look is my choice.  I own the dirty looks and the ignorant questions regarding my appearance. Tattoos, piercings, boy clothes; those are my version of pretty. Do you know that I used to have a man come in every week at my last job to bring me pamphlets on Jesus? He said, maybe if you got rid of the tattoos you could actually get a boyfriend.  Like somehow a boyfriend was the number one priority a young woman should have. Far beyond confidence, self esteem, and independence. 
How dare you have an opinion on someone else's sexuality and happiness. Maybe all YOU need is to lay with a man. You don't know what it is like to a gay person anymore than you know what it’s like to be a woman. You do not know what is best for women. Women know what's best for women, gay or straight or anything in between. I am so disappointed that you felt it necessary to vocalize your out of date opinion Warren. I thought we had a nice friendship. I am a lesbian who has been crazy in love before with some really amazing women. And also some shitty ones. But regardless, in the immortal words of OUR God, Lady of Gaga, Baby I was born this way. Best of luck with your current situation. Be good to you. And please stop spamming people. You could really ruin someone's life that way.
Always,
Baumgartner
P.S. I was totally gonna cyber with you too. Just for the story.
***

January 23, 2015
Re:

Sarah  I did not know anything about the gay. everybody has his or her own life to live, i will not judge anybody because i am not God. You are right I am sorry. Sarah also you are really care and lovely person my heart is full of joy since you came into my life. I am happier now. I want to clear you, listen I am telling you from deep inside my heart. Point of correction I am not a spammer I will not be one. I am a man that has personality I will not kill my carrier or put myself into spammer.
Have you think having your own kids and a happy home?
i will like you to come on Skype
***

To: warrenjackson81@yahoo.com
From: sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com
January 23, 2015
Re: Apology accepted.

Good. Apology accepted. I should hope you are not a spammer, Warren. I have no choice but to take your really trustworthy word for it. You have a good heart, Brother. Do good things, and be kind to yourself and others. And be generous and forgiving because your wife has shown her true colors and now you aren't stuck with that d-bag hussy forever. If she has a sister you should bang her.
Baumgartner
***

To: warrenjackson81@yahoo.com
From: sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com
January 23, 2015
Re:

i am not feeling too well since that evil woman left me.
Thank you for been there for me Sarah i really appreciate the strength and the word also courage you gave me to move on.

i think i am in love with you .
***

 
To: warrenjackson81@yahoo.com
From: sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com
January 23, 2015
Re: Plot Twist?

Oh dear. I am flattered, Warren Jackson. If I had a nickel for every time an internet Spammer ended up falling in love with me…
However, like Romeo and Juliet, ours is a love that can never be. For the seas separate us, and also we both dig chicks. But I will be a friend to you, and learn about where you are from, and you can learn about where I am from, and we can be the most absurd friends ever, Sweet Prince.
I feel like we should collaborate on a project together Warren. You are so interesting and complex. I am a writer, and our story should be made into a book. What do you think?
***

To: sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com
From: warrenjackson81@yahoo.com
January 23, 2015
Re:

I feel you badly Sarah, I can’t even think any order thing apart from you. It will be very nice if we collaborate. Yes we can make a book. My Queen you are really nice. Thanks for your swift response to my message.
***

To: warrenjackson81@yahoo.com
From: sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com
January 23, 2015
Re: Honesty Time.

What about your wife, Brother? Is she yesterday's news?
Now that we are getting closer, I think it's time for us to be honest with each other. What exactly is it that you do for a living? I will not judge. Also, what was your original intention contacting me in the first place? Where did that large sum of money go? What do you think our book will be called? And can I have a quote for the back cover of it? Do you have Facebook? I want you to tell me all about you. Your likes, dislikes. What do you do for fun? What's important to you? Are you religious, are you happy. What is your dream job? What’s the nicest thing you have done for someone?
Be well my friend.
***

January 23, 2015
Re:

Dear Sarah
Good morning my Queen. Many thanks for your questions. My wife divorce me and I don’t want to discourse her issue again, is over between me and her, since she left no communication she’s evil I don’t need her again please don’t ask me about her again.
I am off from work no consideration again due to emotional breakdown I sit at home all day. I am a barrister. I want to be sincere to you and honest Sarah if only you will give me the chance to prove it.
My original intention to contact you, you bear same last name with my late client Bernard Baumgartner  died suddenly with his entire family on 30th December, 2008 in a ghastly road accident while returning from a night concert. The fund is still at the bank, due to emotional breakdown the transaction is apart for now.
For us to know eachother is God wish, you can quote for the back cover of it. I think our book will answer (HONEST LOVE)
I like to be honest and I dislike someone that lie or steal. I like football, movies, reading, music, dancing. The nicest thing I have done for someone is when I donated blood someone I don’t even know, no one to help him so I decided to donate.
Let me know if you like the name of our book. (HONEST LOVE) I wait for your reply. Now my turn . I want you to tell me all about you. Your likes, dislikes.
What do you do for fun?
What's important to you?
Are you religious, are you happy.
What is your dream job?
What’s the nicest thing you have done for someone?
Sincerely
Warren Jackson
***

 
To: warrenjackson81@yahoo.com
From: sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com
January 23, 2015
Re: HONEST LOVE. Brilliant.

Dearest Warren,
"Honest Love" is a perfect depiction of this whole experience. Well done. I adore it.
I hope you are having an enjoyable day. What do you do for fun? What is the weather like there? What is a barrister? How did you become a "barrister"?
I understand how an emotional breakdown would render a gigantic bank transaction inactive for the time being. They are definitely related, and since ours is an honest love, I will trust you, lovely.
Tell me more about Bernard Baumgartner. Did he ever talk about me? Was he kind? Was he a gay as well? Did people like him?
            What kind of movies? What kind of book and music? This is fascinating. I like comedy books, or true crime. Lately I’ve been reading books on gender studies and tackling my stacks of comic books I’ve been putting off. Do you like Swamp Thing?
             I dislike people who are dishonest. I dislike cooked carrots and Nicholas Cage. I don’t care about makeup or shitty Canadian shows that take place on hills or grassy knolls. Road To Avonlea makes me livid. I dislike soggy lettuce and when people wear sunglasses inside. It makes no sense. I dislike judgment and I hate everyone who likes golf. And purses. Also kites.

I love animals, cats specifically. And my family. I love grape juice and steak and reading and writing. I love comedy and tattoos. I love robots and children’s books. And I am fond of you, dear friend. What is happening here?? Did you just flip the script on me?
For fun I write, go to concerts and drink loads of alcohol. Beer when I’m feeling saucy and want to get into party mode, and a bottle of wine when I want to just take it easy. It’s just grapes anyway. That’s science. Don’t judge me.
 What’s important to me is honesty, and family, friends, and kindness. My cats. And to one day meet and marry Angela Bassett.
I am not religious, and I am working on being happy.
My dream job is to be a writer.
The nicest thing I have done for someone? That's a tough question. I haven't done anything heroic like give blood, but I've given my time and my love. Oh I got a tattoo of my Grandma, for my Grandma! She is a babe. Does that count??
Baumgartner.
***

To: sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com
From: warrenjackson81@yahoo.com
January 24, 2015
Re:

My Queen

Sorry for my late response to your message, I went to hospital to take treatment I have fever but I’m okay now.
Barrister means Lawyer I help people that do not know there right. I study it at school.
The weather is ok but from March to September it will be hot, Late Mr. Bernard Baumgartner is not gay, the funny thing about his death he did not write his will before he died and since then no relatives has come to claim the fund that means is open beneficiary.
His kind and honest and a lot of people like him, the reason I sent you the proposal is because of my evil wife health don’t know she will betray me at last.
I love RNB like Miley Cyrus ft Future (MY DARLING), and also Hip Pop like Rick Rose (Diced Pineapple), the movie I like is (TITANIC) the book I like is (ROMEO AND JULIET). Nothing bad about the tattoo cool
My Queen I will be honest to you till death takes us apart.
How are you doing today?
Take care my Queen always remembers someone out there is in love.
Sincerely
Warren Jackson
***

To: sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com
From: warrenjackson81@yahoo.com
January 25, 2015
Re:

My Queen
How are you? Hope everything is okay, I’m worried since I have not heard from you.
Sincerely
Warren Jackson
***

To: warrenjackson81@yahoo.com
From: sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com
January 26, 2015
Re: Twerk It Out Warren.

Hey Pickle.
I'm sorry, I don't have access to a computer on the weekends. How was your hospital treatment? What kinda trouble did you get up to this weekend? Miley Cyrus eh? I get it. She’s a classy broad with a solid message. She seems to really respect herself. My favorite singer is Bif Naked. She sings Spaceman and I Love Myself Today. She’s super dreamy.
I LOVE Titanic. I can’t even hear the opening few notes on that Celine Dion song without getting choked up and staring into the distance dramatically, pretending that I was on that ship. It’s all a very unnecessary display. My best bud and I saw it four times in the theatre. She was in love with Leo, but I was all about Kate. I just watched Gone Girl this weekend. It was outrageous. I loved it. Do you like Ben Affleck? You seem like a Matt Damon kinda guy. Whatcha up to today?  
Baumgartner
***

January 26, 2015
Re: The luck I am having with money!

Hey​ Warren,​ do you know this guy?

Dear Friend,
I know that this mail will come to you as a surprise as we have never met before, but need not to worry as I am contacting you independently of my investigation and no one is informed of this communication. I need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of $11.3million immediately to your private account.The money has been here in our Bank lying dormant for years now without anybody coming for the claim of it.
I want to release the money to you as the relative to our deceased customer (the account owner) who died a long with her supposed NEXT OF KIN since 31 January 2000. The Banking laws here does not allow such money to stay more than 16 years,because the money will be recalled to the Bank treasury account as unclaimed fund.
By indicating your interest I will send you the full details on how the business will be executed.
Please respond urgently and delete if you are not interested.
Regards,
Mr. Hassan Amidu.
***

January 26, 2015
Re:

I don’t know him my weekend was okay and yours? 
12:30 midnight of extercy it was a cool and lovely day when the atmosphere was dark and the spirit of love was passing through me I remember my Angel. 
Do not responses the guy seems they are hackers.
Good night my Queen.
Sincerely
Warren Jackson
***

To: warrenjackson81@yahoo.com

January 26, 2015
Re: Good morning!
 
Hello lovely.
How is your day going? You are so very poetic. How are you feeling?
Baumgartner.
***

January 27, 2015
Re:

My Queen
My day was okay, I’m feeling better. Thanks for your concern. I want to tell you something but I don’t know how you will feel.
Sincerely
Warren Jackson
***

January 27, 2015
Re: Well if that ain’t a statement that gives you a knot in your tummy.

Tell me. It's okay, Brother.
***

January 27, 2015
Re:

Will you marry me?
***

January 27, 2015
Re: So many plot twists.
 
Oh wow. Warren, you are a lovely human being. I feel like you have been nothing but super honest with me. Perhaps I was a little vague when I told you that I was a gay lesbian who liked women. But I am gay Warren. I am very flattered, but we can never be. Is it too much to be only friends?
***

January 28, 2015
Re:

My Queen
I will not judge you if you are lesbian, I don’t have any right to judge. I’m telling you my mind.
You disagree my proposal there is no problem.
Good Night my Queen
Sincerely
Warren Jackson


 
***

January 29, 2015
Re: You’re a babe.

Is Jack dead in that pic?
What time is it there Warren? And you are a lovely, lovely man. If I was to marry a dude it'd totally be you, you mysterious internet dreamboat. Sweet dreams my friend. Thank you.
*** 

January 29, 2015
Re:


12:05am,  i will be honest with you till death take me away from you.
How was your night? My day was fine I’m in the house doing some research soon I will go to bed.
Have you started written our book? Maybe next week I will resume work not too sure. The bank contact me today to know if relative of my late client is still interested about the fund, I told them to give me time I have some emotional breakdown.
My Queen what do you think about this transaction?
I love you
sweet dreams also take a kiss from the ROSE.
Good night
***

January 30, 2015
Re: THERE IT IS.

Hello Peanut,
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I see what you did there. We are back on track, Seal. I think the transaction now sounds more believable than ever. And I am onboard. Ahoy Captain!
What kind of research? I have started writing our book. How's your lil head? How sympathetic was the bank to you when you told them about your breakdown?
- Baumgartner.

***

To: sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com
From: warrenjackson81@yahoo.com
January 30, 2015
Re:

Hi Sweet,
How are you today? The research I’m doing is about Dominicans Republic there Iceland. I think is where we can spend all the rest of our life when we got married. Nice to hear that you have started writing our book.
My lil head is getting better day by day thanks for your concern. The bank manager shows me sympathy and consoles me.
I will resume work on Monday, and then I will let you know how you will contact the bank.
My sweetest I will be going to bed now, now we are too close we need to be talking to eachother on phone once  while, what do you think?
Good night princess.
God bless you
Sincerely
Warren Jackson
***

February 1, 2015
Re:

 
My Queen
Happy New Month
I want to be the first person to wish you prosperity and long life this month. How you are doing? I really miss you.
Cheers
Sincerely
Your love Warren
***

To: sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com
From: warrenjackson81@yahoo.com
February 3, 2015
Re:

Hi Queen
I’m worried. Hope you are okay? Let me know what is going on please. I have not been myself.
I really miss you, I resume work Yesterday been Monday as I told you.
I love you Sarah
Sincerely
Warren.
***

 

To: sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com
From: warrenjackson81@yahoo.com
February 5, 2015
Re:

Hello Queen
How are you doing? Still worried and I am not feeling too well since I have not heard from you.
I love you.
You’re sweet
Sincerely
Your love Warren
***

January 30, 2015
Re: Baumgartner needs a hug.

Hello sweet man.
Aside from being off work for a bit for being sick, one of my pets passed away. I have been sad.
I hope you are well. I thought about you. How are you feeling?
-B
***

To: sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com
From: warrenjackson81@yahoo.com
February 1, 2015
Re:

Hi Sweet
I am very sorry you are sick, though I have same feelings since I have not receive any message from you, also my condolence to your pets that pass away, be strong everything will be fine.
Hope you are getting better now?
I’m fine just that I miss you and hope to see you around me soon.
I hope to hear from you.
Your love
Warren Jackson
***

February 2, 2015
Re:

Hi Sweet
How are you feeling today? I did not slept very well last night I was thinking about you all night. Please get well soon.
Once again my condolence
My love for you grow each day I wake up alive, I swear with my life to make you happy till death take us apart.
Always bear is in mind Warren LOVE YOU.
I hope to hear from you.
Your love
Warren
***

February 6, 2015
Re:

Hello dear friend.
What a way with words you have. How is your day going today? How is work?
I think you should tell me something about yourself you've never told anyone. What do you think?
-Baumy
***
 
February 7, 2015
Re:
 
Hi Sweet
My day was okay. Also work we are pushing it hard I thank God.
What I have not tell anyone in my life, when I saw my friend wife at the Hotel with another man cheating his husband.
Now my turn, have you finished our book? Let me know what you have not told anyone?
I hope to hear from you soon.
Your love
Warren Jackson
***

February 10, 2015
Re: Chandeliers, or even ceiling fans.
 
That's terrible. Did you tell your friend?
Something I never told anyone else... I guess that I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
 I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist
 Like it doesn't exist
 I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry
 I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier

Read more: Sia - Chandelier Lyrics |       
 
I am in the midst of writing out book. It's close to completion. But I need a crazy ending, Something that really captures the essence of you and I. Something that will leave readers cheering at the end. Something really well written like 50 Shades of Grey, and believable like the Bible. Maybe  mixed with like Nancy Drew for the kids, with a lesson. But also funny.  How do you think it should end?
***
 
February 11, 2015
Re:

Hi sweet.
How are you doing? I will not tell my friend even tomorrow I don’t want to put problem between them. I believe one day he will defiantly know.
I suggest defiantly both of us will spend the rest of our lives together, let it be the end of our book.
Always remember Warren care and love you.
You’re Love
Warren
***

February 12, 2015
Re: “Baumgartner; A Tale of HONEST LOVE”

Sarah Bertrand sat at her desk one sunny day. The sun was out, and sunlight was pouring into the warehouse she worked at. She sat at her computer, neglecting all other responsibilities that she was being paid a hefty sum to complete. She  opened up her personal email, and perused through the notifications from Amazon. She perused through the notices from Facebook. She deleted all of the online bills because ain’t nobody got time for that. Then she saw it. It hit her like a ton of bricks; the email that started it all. This email made literally no sense, and it called her by a name she had never been addressed as before. Like, ever. A powerful name that she would grow to love, and eventually take on as her own.
Baumgartner.
The email said that some distant relatives kicked it in a freak accident, and that all the money that a one Mr. Bernard Baumgartner had was to be distributed to Sarah upon receiving all of her most personal information. The story was flawed, and poorly constructed, and had so many holes in it that some joke about swiss cheese. It said that because Sarah’s last name was Baumgartner, that she was to inherit a trove of treasure. It demanded an urgent reply, and boy oh boy an urgent reply was given.
Sarah’s initial response was confusion, and then berserk anger, and then pangs of hunger because she had woken up too late to consume breakfast. She responded quickly and sarcastically, with all the mistrust of a young boy who was just told the truth about Santa. That he’s a diabetic pervert.
She received an email back almost immediately, and there was an unlikely charm in this mysterious stranger’s words that was intriguing to Sarah. Warren Jackson. A name that flowed off the tongue like white on rice.
*whispers Warren Jackson 7 times*
Warren spun a tale of heartache and devastation; of money and mistaken identity. The silver lining, as stated earlier, was tales of riches beyond her wildest fantasies. Sarah’s inner goddess was doing underwater cartwheels at the mere thought of finally having a little dough behind her, so she could get out of this crazy town and pursue her passion of working in a warehouse just one town over.
Sarah, being the skeptic that she was, didn’t know how much trust that she could put into this faceless man, because the template he had used to write her was pretty much textbook from every single thieving spam email ever. But then Warren changed everything. He sent her a not doctored picture of his credentials, and once Sarah got a whiff of that handsome mug, she was hooked. He looked like a young Denzel Washington, and had kind eyes. The type that made you want to curl up on a faux bearskin rug infront of him, while he sat in a regal worn leather wingback chair, and just listen to his stories. Or maybe just outside, in the frigid Canadian snow, while Warren stood on top of the highest igloo he could ever imagine, and painted Baumgartner, who had buried herself in a makeshift snow cave like a hibernating bear. Painted her like Jack painted Rose in Jimmy Cameron's sci fi thriller, Titanic perhaps. Or maybe not even painted her at all. Maybe just screamed slam poetry down at her. Who knows really.
You see, this all began as a rouse; a social experiment to see if it was possible to humanize a single person behind a mass email, and to make it a personal experience. This was not only successful in that sense, but a bond had been forged that seemed to defy logic and probability. Warren Jackson and Sarah Baumgartner had become friends. Best friends. A whole bunch of other junk happened, and then Warren professed his love, and eventual desire to marry Baumgartner. The complicated part in this seemingly ideal set up was that Baumgartner was a lesbian. A gay homo who liked girls. Warren Jackson took this knowledge as gracefully as he was capable of, but refused to let his eye stray from the prize. The prize that was Baumgartner. He made her feel like the belle of the ball. This was a real modern Cinderfella story. The money exchange was completely forgotten about. But currency didn't matter anymore. What mattered was love. Pure, unadulterated, homoerotic love.
Warren Jackson really didn’t know the positive effect he had on Baumgartner. Their mutual respect for each other would translate into a sort of fairytale that would provide so much entertainment for the world to see. I will leave you with the words of my beloved, Warren Jackson, when I asked him how I should end our book.
“Defiantly both of us will spend the rest of our lives together, let it be the end of our book.”
And so it is written, so it shall be.
FIN.

 
Hope you are  having a wonderful day, doll.
No, YOU'RE love.
Baumgartner
***


February 13, 2015
Re:

Hi Sweet
WOW!! I’m really proud of you and defiantly our book is the most touching story ever. Many thanks to you for letting me come into your life.
Sweet you will not erase in my memory till death take us apart I promise you that.
What is your plain when you finished written our book? And how can we make the world to read it?
Always bear in mind Warren LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART.
I hope to hear from you soon.
You’re Love
Warren.
***


My Sweet, Please hold tight for my book coming out soon, called, Honest Love. It will have the full, outrageous correspondence, as well as ridiculous pictures.
You're Love,
Sarah Baumgartner.

1 comment:

Mary Bozkurt said...

"Take it all in, brother." LMBFAO