Saturday, June 20, 2009

My letter to Softpedia, makers of The Noodle Eater's Hair Guard

Dear Softpedia,

My name is Sarah Bertrand, and I am a 25 year old woman who enjoys spackle, semi professional photography, and trading recipes.

I recently came across your ingenious invention, The Noodle Eater's Hair Guard, and immediately began preparing a package of Mr. Noodle for consumption. I haven't even received my Noodle Eater's Hair Guard in the mail yet, so you can ascertain my level of excitement! Huzzah! Finally, a reason to start eating carbs again!!

You, Softpedia, would not believe the amount of money I have been needlessly dispensing on hair ties, barrettes, clips, and the like. Imagine me, a sophisticated important business woman, getting an expensive haircut or style (to be worn down), and having to go to an important elegant dinner where pasta is being served. Put my hair in a ponytail?? NO THANKS! Why, I'd rather strap a doily to my face and eat with class. No more pesky strands of hair threatening the deliciousness of my meal.

Softpedia, you have given me, and many others like myself, a new lease on life. Now meal time won't be such a stressful event. Instead of dining hour consisting of me eating popsicles while lying on my back (because really, that's the safest route to go when you don't want to be hassled with pulling your hair back into a ponytail), now I can pretty much smash whatever I want into my face, free of embarassment!

Two questions: does it come in any color other than salmon? Also, will it work for red meat, exotic fruits, and Jello?

Thank you, Softpedia. I look forward to my exciting mealtime apparatus making it's way onto my delicate face. Until then, I shall famine.

Sarah Bertrand

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