My name is Sarah Bertrand, and I am an ambitious, level headed writer who enjoys kisses from kittens, keeping up to date on current events, and breaking records.
Recently, there has been some hullabaloo regarding a brazen daredevil throwing Red Bull out of a spacecraft to break the sound barrier. I believe that's the gist, I didn't quite follow the coverage. Obviously whatever happened was quite impressive, and I was struck with a moment of envious, sulk inspiration. I am writing to you, requesting your sponsorship, or some sort of hefty grant, to perform the world's most foolish, unreasonable, magnificent act of bravery. In the name of my blog, Inapark Productions, I will jump from the surface of the moon. A space where no man, woman or child has dared to occupy. I will scissor kick through the Milky Way. I will plummet past Orion's Belt. I will perform these feats with no oxygen mask, Martian armor, or parachute. I will safely land in some ocean, or onto quaggy greenery that is successfully situated for a safe and unforgettable landing.
I do hope my enthusiasm was catching, and I'd be elated to work with you on this project. I am desperate to find a publisher for my two self published books, The Best of Inapark Productions, and Sketch, and I feel as though this is the most rational way to gain exposure. Thank you so much for your time, and I look forward to definitely hearing from you. "Straight to the moon, Alice! Pow! Right in the kisser!" I apologize if anyone there is named Alice. I wasn't trying to be aggressive, I was merely quoting a show called The Honeymooners. It stars Jackie Gleason, who's character is verbally abusive towards his wife Alice, played by Audrey Meadows. I could have omitted the last part. He really does love her though. And I really do love the moon, and am committed to this caper. Sweet dreams, NASA.