Monday, March 25, 2013

Animal Expert Proposal.

Dear PETA,
My name is Sarah Bertrand, and I am a 29 year old self proclaimed animal expert, and animal enthusiast. I have worked in a pet store for ten years, and have entertained and housed tens of animals throughout my life. Currently I have two cats, one rat and a lizard. Their names are Ned, Binx, Freddie and Penny, in no particular order. I am a huge fan of your organization, and feel as though I would be a wonderful addition to any future protests, campaigns, or publicity appearances. I can either have my own segment, or be there in the background. I will be creating awareness, and relaying facts, like the following, to the masses. I am highly motivated, and detail oriented. Even though I'm not entirely positive about the following statements, I will make reasonable assumptions because I don't have time to research.

"Don`t eat meat, or wear fur."`
"Cats sleep in sunshine."
"Bears eat honey, berries, and sometimes campers."
"Hyenas laugh, to hide their tears."
"Some lizards have very sensitive skin. Others do not."
"Hippos get furious when you try and take their marbles."
"Bats always turn left when exiting a cave."
"In addition to delivering babies, storks also kidnap them."
"Licking a toad does not get you high; it gives them the wrong impression."
"A snail can sleep up to three years."
"Beavers have very strong tails. They were the world's first carpenters; even before Jesus."
"All polar bears are left handed, and enjoy drinking Coke."
"Cockroaches, like garbage, are repulsive. Ugh, why are we even talking about them?!"
"Meer cats are alert."
"Birds love seeds, and make nests in trees and sheds. Unless they're angry birds, then they enjoy catapulting into buildings to gain points."
"Dogs are loyal."
"Giraffes have no vocal cords, and communicate by vibrating the air around their neck, and texting."
"Honeybees have hairs on their eyes to help them collect pollen."
"Bears give the best bear hugs. But watch out of they linger; they may be preparing to maul you."

I believe that these tidbits, despite being embellished, perhaps insipid, and sometimes altogether fabricated, will peak the interest of passerbys. They will provide a sense of fun whimsy to PETA. Thank you for your time, and I look forward to speaking with you soon.

Sarah B

re: Animal Expert

Friday, March 29, 2013 10:51 AM
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"Sarah Bertrand"
Hello Sarah,
Thank you for your interest in the Toronto Zoo. Your request is currently under review. We hope to be seeing you at the Toronto Zoo soon!
Toronto Zoo Webmaster,

re: Animal Expert

Tuesday, April 2, 2013 5:31 AM
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"Sarah Bertrand"
Dear Sarah,
Thank you for your interest in the Toronto Zoo and interest in working at our site.  All job and volunteer opportunities at the Zoo are posted regularly on our website,  I would recommend that you review the current postings and submit any suitable application(s) accordingly.
Karen Conway
Volunteer Coordinator
Karen Conway  MSc. CIT 
Co-ordinator of Volunteers
Toronto Zoo - Education Branch

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