My letter to Always.

Dear Always,

My name is Sarah Bertrand, and I am a 29 year old female woman who enjoys stereotypes, comfort, and irrational slogans.

Recently, I was perusing the shelves at my local convenience store, and I came across something that stopped me in my tracks. It was a dusty, enormous package of female sanitary napkins. Perhaps from the 70's, as I have never seen advertising such as this on an Always product before. It had the following caption; "Always. Enjoy being a woman, every day." 

Now Always. What in the name of all that is holy could possibly make a pad or tampon affect a woman that way? Is it the searing pain, the unrelenting discomfort, or the disappointing inconvenience?

When it's my time of the month, I thank God that I don't have children. I'm not a bad person, but I inherently know that they would inevitably neglected so that I could eat all of the food in the house, and then feel sorry for myself. Also, I adore my cats, But when Ned paws at my face at 6am for food, I struggle with contacting the shelter I got him at six years ago, and telling them that it's just not working out.

These are the following things that I have, and lack, during this week of hell.

Have: Rage, self loathing, crying spurts, irrational behaviour, gaggy tendencies, insecurities.

Lack: Patience, sensitivity, outer beauty.

I would like to offer you some more relevant, alternative slogans, since this particular one was obviously written by a middle aged, single man. There is no joy during menstruation, Always. None. Unless someone surprises you with a piece of cake, or bottle of wine.

- Always: Just, don't watch The Notebook this week.

- Always: Relax! The subway will start moving again soon. Jesus.

- Always: Get me a heating pad, and don't look me in the eye.

- Always: Pipe down with the stink eye. It's just a child, and you're not invisible.

- Always: Don't beat yourself up for eating that bag of chips.

- Always: It *is* that hot in here. You're not crazy, they are. They are.

- Always: You're beautiful. You are. No, stop. The dryer shrunk it.

- Always: Fuck! Right?!

Hopefully in the future, you will be more proactive in your quest to realistically portray the struggle that a woman feels each month. And if you're going to have kittens, or jogging in your next series of commercials, at least make sure the kittens have rabies, and that it's raining on the jogging trail, and ruins the woman's ipod. 

Sincerely,

Sarah B
***

Thank you for contacting Always. [ ref:_00D70JViV._50070RmsD2:ref ]

Monday, March 4, 2013 8:16 AM

From:

""P&G North America" "

Add sender to Contacts

To:

"sarahbertrand13@yahoo.com"

Sarah,

Thanks for contacting Always.   

We rely heavily on consumer comments regarding our advertisements, and feedback like yours will help us decide how to approach future advertising efforts.  Please be assured I'm letting our marketing team know how you feel.

Thanks again for writing.
Brenda
Always Team