My letter to Vince Offer; The Schticky.

Dear Vince Offer,

My name is Sarah Bertrand, and I am a 28 year old optimist who enjoys caesars, infomercials, and neat penmanship. 

I have followed you through the ShamWow, the Slap Chop, and now to the Schticky. I am a huge fan of yours. Even though the Slap Chop was the most useless kitchen contraption I had ever went against my better judgement and purchased, I still support you and enjoy watching your antics on television. By the way, the Slap Chop actually makes preparing meals significantly more difficult, when you have to scrape bits of food that have collected from inside the blades. You should market it as a diet aid, because it acts as a magician and literally hides the food from you. The food vanishes.

It is a terrible invention.

They now sell them at Dollarama exclusively. And the shelf was full, Vince. I digress though, because I have moved past it.

Four days ago, for $15.24, I purchased the Schticky; a two piece reusable lint roller set. The commercial was just so ridiculous, I had to have it. It boasts, "Clean in a quicky with schticky!", on the package. That is a very ambitious claim, Vince. Although it does rhyme, I would like to point out all the ways in which this is a blatant, vicious lie.

The things you choose to "schticky" are irrational. Cat hair, okay. But cereal and money?? What happened to a dust pan, or your hands? What are you teaching your child if it spills cereal on the floor, and instead of making it tidy it's own mess, you say, That's okay Junior! I'll just roll adhesive over it! There are no consequences to creating a rat's nest where you dwell.

Even the cover of the Schticky box pictures lint rolling what looks like coffee grounds. Do you think we're all fools, Vince? Everyone knows that this task would be much easier to perform with a cloth.

Although shock value is rarely funny, I will not deny that your tacky commercial is hilarious. But, for something that claims to have a ten year limited warranty, I feel cheated and chagrined. I despise feeling chagrin. I used it within reason, to test it's fortitude, and in four days your shoddy invention sprung loose from it's hinges every single time I used it. The icing on the proverbial cake was that the roller  has started peeling at the corners. This is unacceptable, from such a reputable Entrepreneur such as yourself.

I don't think it's unreasonable to request my $15.24 back, and a written apology from you personally, Mr. Offer. 

I thank you for your time, and look forward to your prompt response.

Sincerely,

Sarah Bertrand

***

re: The Schticky [983585:3381279]

Wednesday, August 15, 2012 12:32 PM

From:

"Schticky"

Add sender to Contacts

To:

"Sarah Bertrand"

Dear Sarah Bertrand,

We apologize that you feel cheated and chagrined. If you are unhappy with the product and wish to get a refund or a replacement take it back to the original place of purchase. Your concern has been forwarded to Corporate for review. Should Corporate decide to get in contact with you they will do so. Have a wonderful day.


Schticky
www.schticky.com
(877) 378-8211
6am-5pm P.S.T Mon-Fri