Sunday, January 4, 2009

My letter to


My name is Sarah Bertrand, and I am a 25 year old daydreamer who enjoys fashion, retro trendsetting, and vibrant clashy colors that at a glance can send someone into a seizure induced coma.

I am on the quest for a sponser for my every day life, I am a fun loving, adventurous jezebel, and I believe I would be the perfect representitive for your company; specializing in slap bracelets. Remember those nifty accessories from the eighties? Kids immediately started abusing them and there were tons of slap bracelet related injuries so they all got recalled. Except at your fine store! I know mine were all confiscated as soon as my mom caught my brother and I in the middle of a rousing game of, "slap bracelet slap facelet".

I could be your puppet, a walking billboard of marvel, with free swag, and my sole purpose would be to promote your company. I would elicit disbelief and morbid fascination, and your sales would boom! Straight through the roof! Everyone would be jealous that you thought to capitalize on youth, and people's fruitless and embarassing quest to recapture their childhood!!!

I will send some really flattering and professional headshots to hopefully tickle your fancy. Have a fantastic weekend, and I look forward to hearing from you immediately.

Sarah Bertrand

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