Tuesday, September 25, 2012

I found this letter I wrote to Best Buy a few years ago. Ridiculous.

Dear Best Buy, 

My name is Sarah Bertrand, and I am a 27 year old electric blanket enthusiast who enjoys computing, eating movie popcorn, and watching Greys Anatomy. I am deeply saddened, and frustrated that it has come to this, but you, sirs, are in need of a tongue lashing in which I hope you take seriously. 

I will begin my tale of woe with an apology. I am sorry that I was ever seduced by your flashy commercials, and bright, alluring colors. And that I ever entered your establishment of sub par, most likely refurbished electronics equipment and nik naks. I have bought my third router from you in less than six months, and this one too, like the rest, has just ceased functioning. It's almost like a tragic game. A gambling game, where there is no winner.

Allow me to create a scene. It is a windy day. I am outside, with a positive attitude, and fist full of $84. Okay, two fists full of 84 loonies. My arms are sore; they're very heavy. I need a router. Stay with me, this makes sense in the end. There is a man in a trench coat. He is shrouded in darkness, but I trust him. I think he has candy. Alas! Even better than that.. he has a router!! I assume if I hand over my 84 loonies, plus applicable taxes, that I will receive the treasure he is holding. I could just as easily walk a few blocks and get it from somewhere else, but this method seems more convenient. Albeit little more dangerous, which I like. So, he hands me the router, and just as I am about to hand him my sweaty fistful of change, his trench coat opens a little bit (in the wind), and I see that he is wearing a Best Buy polo t shirt. My instincts tell me to throw up the change in the air, and watch it get swept away in the wind, because THAT is what eventually will happen to my hopes and dreams in a matter of weeks when the router of mystery decides that my 84 dollars plus applicable taxes is only worth so much. So, that's what I do. I throw it, and run as fast as I can, tears streaming down my face. Do you see? Isn't it plain as day? These routers are unpredictable and confusing, like this tale I just spun for you. Since I do not wish to employ your in-store army of excess, more often referred to as the "Geek Squad" (which I believe to be a voracious scam), I would hope this could be settled fairly, and with a little pizzazz. Do you enjoy pizzazz, Geek Squad? Of course you do. Your commercials are full of it. 

The routers I have purchased as of the "D Link" brand, and were all wireless N Routers. I spent $84 dollars three times, and don't have another penny to spare. Since your company is reputable and known for their spectacular deals and accommodating nature, I was wondering if there was any sort of compensation I could please look forward to? Most importantly a new router? I look forward to a response, and hope you, Best Buy, have a fantastic day.
Sarah Bertrand

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